The Picnic Table
by AdamAddictsAnonymous
Summary: "You don't have to change who you are; everyone else does." Clare insisted forcefully, hating that her best friend could be judged so harshly for being who he wanted to be.


In class Clare couldn't think straight.

She'd heard rumors that Adam was dressed up like a girl and she couldn't imagine what he must have been going through. It wasn't enough that he got thrown through doors and had his shirt ripped open in the middle of the hallway; now people had made him change himself.

She needed to find him and make sure he was ok. That he wouldn't do anything drastic like going after Fitz… not that he would ever do that. She had a lot of respect for him because of that. How he never once resorted to violence when someone else abused him, like Eli did.

She almost wished he would do something instead of make witty remarks. Inside she knew violence was never the answer but she hated watching him just sit and take all the crap people gave him.

She wanted him to be himself once again. She wanted him to talk to her, to let the anger, betrayal and hatred out some way. She knew that if he kept it locked inside he would eventually burst. Once the bell rang she packed up and practically launched herself from her seat. She sped down the hallway, barely hearing Alli and Eli both call after her.

She didn't have time to stop and talk. She had to find him before he left campus to go home. Or before he did something he would regret later.

And that's when she found him at the picnic table.

"Adam?" she whispered, wishing that the girl before her that was burning herself was not her best friend. "What are you doing?" she said, louder. Familiar green eyes flashed to her, tears sliding down the splotchy red cheeks while the offending items were tossed onto the table.

As if pushing the items away would make Clare forget what she just saw. Clare rushed over, grabbing the objects to pull them farther away from them. She held in a hiss of pain when she touched the barrette and dropped it in pain. How could he press that to his skin? Her eyes traveled to his forearm and she gasped again.

"Adam…" she breathed, running her fingertips over the burns. He reached over to cover them and brought his arm closer to himself, trying to cover them up. But she already saw the fresh ones he had just made as well as the old ones.

He'd obviously done it many times before.

She remembered thinking that Adam had never resorted to violence when he was abused. How he never lashed out at someone when he was mistreated. And now she found out the reason he didn't hurt other people was because he hurt himself.

She mentally kicked herself for being a horrible friend. For not realizing that Adam was suffering and she had never noticed. She was too infatuated with her hearse driving English partner so she didn't pay attention to her best friend. Probably would've never paid any attention to him if she hadn't saw his tampons, found out he was a transgender and caught him burning himself.

"If I'm Gracie everything easier, right? For everyone." _But not you._ "When I was her I used to burn myself; it's how I let the anger out."

"But, you're not her." She had to make him realize this. She scooted closer, wanting to bring the boy into a hug and make everyone that judged him go away.

"But I have to be her! For my mom, my family, for everyone!" he exclaimed, making Clare want to cry. He didn't have to be anyone he didn't want to be, no matter who wanted to change him. "I'm trying so hard…" he turned away and sniffled.

"You don't have to change who you are; everyone else does." Clare insisted forcefully, hating that her best friend could be judged so harshly for being who he wanted to be. "Let's get you home…" Clare whispered, rubbing Adam's arm before pinching the cool part of the barrette as well as the lighter.

"Not in these clothes…" Adam whispered. Clare nodded, feeling slightly relieved that Adam would go back to being Adam. She helped him up and grabbed his backpack before wrapping her arm around his shoulders.

* * *

**Disclaimer:**

I don't –sob- own Degrassi D=

**Author's Notes:**

I honestly have no idea where this came from XD It's obviously the picnic table scene from 'My Body Is a Cage' part 2. It just came to me as I was working on Chapter 16 of my other story; _I'm Not A Girl _(yeah; I'm already _that_ far).

Can you imagine walking around and seeing your best friend hurting themselves? I'd probably burst into tears and just hold them.

So anyway; here you go~

Love me?

V


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